Do I even exist?

I have never thought of myself as needing a great deal of attention. I would say that even now-as I blog- I don't think that very many people will actually read my blog, and I don't mind that. I am perfectly content to sit and read a book or knit without a conversation going back and forth, and I would have to say for the most part, I would rather be a wall flower than the MC.

With my little Prince in tow, it is easy to take a back seat and let him be the star of his life and now the star of my life as well. Everyone is so excited to see him because he is a baby, and babies draw attention. When people think that a man trying to pick up women could use a puppy as an accessory, they understand the draw that people have to things out of the ordinary. Babies are not all around us, even though we all had to start out as a baby. Our world is very adult oriented with restaurants or driving down the street. Many places advertise a children's section, like a library or a McDonald's play area. Companies have designated these special areas for children, because we do live in an adult world.

I can't go anywhere without someone commenting on my baby as if he were an amazing piece of jewelry or funky shoes that no one has ever seen. He is now about the size of a large purse, and sits right on my hip, so the words "duffle bag baby" have crossed my lips. He is animated and makes noises at people which draws attention. I am getting used to it, but I haven't decided if I like the attention that I get because everyone is looking at my baby.

I have decided that I miss the social interaction that I get from people who I do know. Talking is the main thing. Unless I am on the phone with someone, I really don't have any one's full attention. They want to see what the baby is doing. Oh look at what he is doing! Of course he is doing things, what do you expect?! Husband and I cease to exist because nothing can be as important as the baby...and that is right, but our lives do make up other angles. As busy as I am taking care of the baby, there are fewer and fewer things to talk about, but it is annoying when telling a story or trying to make conversation and no one is paying attention to the boring parent.

I have decided that we should just drop the baby off where ever there are people who want to visit with him, and then Husband and I can go off and do something more productive. Sitting around like a bunch of cattle while everyone coos and coddles the baby mostly make me want to barf. I should be excited at everyone's enthusiasm, but having a baby can really make you lose a sense of self. I completely understand the femi-nazi attitude about losing your own identity in the shuffle of a new addition to your family. It can only get worse as the family grows and there is less to talk about politics and books, and more to talk about potty training and soccer goals. Do parents bring this on themselves? or is it the identity theif that takes the form of a doting grandparent, friend, or complete stranger?